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Archive for the ‘Vanity’ Category

Facebook has its strong points, no doubt. For many, it can be a harmless way to pass a little time — if you ever wondered what your best friend from the sixth grade, who moved to Kansas, is now doing at 35, it’s a fun and easy way to reconnect. For others, it can even be a career-boosting, social-networking strategy — suppose you made a great work connection at a recent party, but forgot to get his email …

Facebook cuts through all the usual boundaries of time and space and takes you directly to the virtual doorstep of the person you’re looking for. It’s a cultural phenomenon, with more than 400 million users, that some would say has improved our quality of life and brought us all closer together. Others, however, might strongly disagree.

Two Real-Life Examples
Valerie (not her real name) is an unemployed music writer in her 30s. Her live-in boyfriend Max is at an ad agency job full-time. Valerie is alone at home for hours, scouring the Internet for job listings. Says Valerie, “On ‘the Face,’ I don’t have to go searching for company. I can talk to my family or my friends back home. They’re at my fingertips.”

For Valerie, it’s also a place to make connections with record labels, musicians, and as she puts it, “people of my tribe.”

Her boyfriend, Max (not his real name), has a slightly different take on the situation: “Every time I turn around, she’s on that thing. It’s like she’s on a constant Facebook IV drip. She will sit staring at the screen watching the updates on the damned feed, or check to see who ‘liked’ her postings. I am beginning to think she doesn’t like me.”

Darcy (also not her real name) broke up with a guy six months ago, and discovered, via Facebook, that he is in a new relationship. “Last week, he changed his relationship status. I’ve seen the pictures of him with this new girl, and it kills me. I wish he’d block me to save me from myself,” she related.

Expert Opinions
Says Paula Pile, a marriage and family therapist in Greensboro, North Carolina, in a CNN interview: “Last Friday, I had three clients in my office with Facebook problems. It’s turned into a compulsion — a compulsion to dissociate from your real world and go live in the Facebook world.”

According to Joanna Lipari, a clinical psychologist at the University of California (from the same CNN interview): “Facebook is a fun, pleasant, happy, beautiful world. People only present the crème de la crème of their lives … And these people want to be your friends! It’s very seductive.”

For people like Darcy, who have a tendency to fixate or obsess about past loves, Facebook provides the negative excitement she craves.

Some Pointed Questions
Asking yourself the following questions may be helpful in figuring out if you’ve degenerated into a full-blown Facebook junkie:

1. Are you spending less time with family and friends so you can be online?
2. Do you procrastinate or put off work to just get a little more Facebook time?
3. Does the thought of being off of Facebook for more than a day make you extremely anxious?
4. Do you think about Facebook when you lay in bed at night?
5. When you’re tagged, do you feel on top of the world?

If you’ve answered “yes” to one or more of these questions, it’s time for a little DIY rehab.

How to Fix the Problem
Just as they do in AA, the first step is admitting you have a problem. The second is asking the universe for some help, and the next is inventorying your activity. Record how much time you’re spending and what you are actually doing when you are on the website. Next, form some boundaries. Limit your time and have some goals, for example: “I will do half an hour a day, max” or “Today, I will comment on only two friend’s posts.”

Most importantly, start fortifying your three-dimensional existence. Attempt to make it as interesting and fulfilling (or more) than your virtual life. Take a walk in the sun, volunteer, see a therapist, read a book, plant a garden, start that novel you’ve always wanted to write, change the color of your hair, and talk with and touch the ones you love. Life goes by too quickly, and with a little work and courage, reality really doesn’t have to bite.


Credit: Tracy Lyndon

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Never wear anything that panics my lips. hehe! I'm just goofing around with Sloggi-girls :-)

Never wear anything that panics my lips. hehe! I'm just goofing around with Sloggi-girls 🙂

Sloggi is eminent for plastering underwear clad derrières on billboards throughout Europe. It has some alluring ads that make both men and women want to rush and buy their latest panties and thongs. From tops, Midi briefs, maxi shorts in extremely highest quality-fine cotton & lycra to G-string, whoever is wrapped by these sloggi undergarments will attest ‘it’s got the perfect fit and superb soft stretch comfort which is really snug for everyday wear’. Do I sound like beating the drum for SLOGGI? You tell me, but I just wanna tell you that it is one of my darling lingerie.

Recently, I have purchased some ladies boxer shorts but I’m not so keen on them. They are as pricey as the Sloggi. I love their cute designs, but after wearing them a couple of times, I saw the garment’s true nature. Disappointing. Nice, but not real value for money.

Over the last couple of years, I have been a sloggi fan except for the butterfly hipster and thongs. I am hesitant about wearing thongs. I feel super squeamish about how it feels to have cloth between the cheeks, that it bothers me so much that I am thinking of wrenching it out right away. The maxi sloggi shorts however, give me the feeling of being naughty and flirty. Know what I’m saying?

The certain thing I like about the Sloggi underwear is that, it does not lose-loose its shape over the days, even if you wash and dry it frequently. So, wear sloggi underwear for comfort and confidence from within. And who knows you’ll be spotted to model for their ads or if you get lucky, you may even be able to obtain the title “World’s Most Beautiful Bottom” ;-).

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I had a date today. Wanting to look great, I spent a lot of time getting ready. I already planned what to wear- a dress that I have never worn yet with the price tag still attached. But after weighing myself, I ended up wearing a semi-skimpy Chinese dress, which I bought in China 4 years ago, ho ho. I’ve been keeping it in my closet because it’s one my favorites. Besides, it was Mimi who chose it for me. I’ve only used it thrice and I’ve hung onto it (rather than giving it away), thinking “It will still fit me after 4 or 10 years and this will help me  watch my bulk or even drop some more of it.”

As I looked fixedly at the dress, I talked nonsense to it, “Okay, I’ve lost weight (a bit), so maybe I’ll fit into you again.” Voila! It still fits me quite well, except for the right-side zipper. I tried to zip it up, and up and up holding my breath. Darn! I took it off and changed bra into sports bra, then wore the dress for the second time around and zipped it up again. Nudge! The dress got back to me and squelched me, “Hey, you don’t alter me to fit you, you alter yourself to fit me.” Huh, so now you’re like a nagging Vera! Good Wang, help me fit into this dress, please! Lucky me, I got a helping hand so had it zipped up. Considering we have seats reservation and we can’t be late, I didn’t bother changing the dress into another outfit. OFF WE GO!

My date took me to a nice restaurant. When we got there, the waiter pointed out our table. A simple act of chivalry, my date pulled up a chair for me and I sat down at the table composedly. Indeed a real gentleman. The ambiance was great, too. The waiter was very accommodating that he came to our table twice just to check if we were ready to order. He just couldn’t wait to serve us. A few minutes later, we agreed to go only for starters and the main courses with side dishes and champagne, no sweets.

After chowing down the starter, I already felt a bit bloated and uneasy. It was apparent that I was having a snag with the dress,  so my date asked me if I was all right. Looking perturbed, I said “I’m fine. Just needs a loose move, is all.” Cognizant of the embarrassment I could possibly create, I whispered to him “If I have to eat more, my dress zipper would burst or split open.” We kept on giggling as if we both thought this thing was equally hilarious.  Anyhow, I managed the main course (tasty lamb prepared with spinach, butter and  that’s full of flavor). Likewise, I managed to wedge myself into that wear. But boy, I could hardly move. I even had to use my jacket to cover up my right side part, that was looking awkwardly ‘stiff zipped’. All I could think of at that moment was the relief from this ‘tuck-it-all-in’ dress despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.

We supposed to stay longer for a chitchat but I told him I wanted to go. When the bill was paid, we left with contented smile on our face.

The date was relatively fun;  food-wise, it was pretty good.

In my mind though, “With all the dresses in my closet, why this one?” It was foolish of me to wear this tonight.

Vanity Unfair. I’ve been jogging these days. I believe I’ve lost weight. Well, scrutinizing myself in the mirror, though my tummy is flat, got curves (not to toot my own horn), I  still regard myself as slim but no longer skinny!

Pondering:

1) Shall I blame the washing machine for shrinking the dress?

2) Do my fat cells have to notice all my calorie intake from mindless eating?

3) Am I too obsessed with this dress that I couldn’t bid farewell to and that I don’t wanna accept the fact that I’ve already outgrown it not in height but in girth?

4) Rather than discussing a more relevant topic, am I just too vain to think about my BWH (vital statistics) and write this lousy-vain blog?

5) Is this teaching me something about the art of letting go? I guess.

This may seem going out of the subject matter  and unconnected to the immediate context but I just wanna stretch it a bit.

Here’s the rub:

Sometimes the way we clean out our closet reflects how we clean out a relationship. Whether we realize it or not, people who aren’t in our life anymore can still be affecting us on a daily basis. Sure we’ve let go of the physical, psychological or emotional clutter associated with the past, let’s say with an ex.

More to the point, oftentimes we find it hard, if not possible, no matter how unhealthy and futile the relationship has become, to let it go. Most of us are willing to do everything in our power to try to make “meant to be” relationship work.

The same goes for that tight red dress I was trying to fit into me with a concerted effort. “Is there anything in your life that you absolutely would not get rid of because it has sentimental value?” Ask me, I say- a lot. And one of them is this dress. Not only the sentimental sense, it’s got a ‘woot woot’ value as well ;-). I can just buy new dress to replace it anytime, but since I love it so dearly, I  keep it  in the closet and valued it as one of my special collections.

Much sentimental value in it but I figured it was time to give it away and offer it to someone who will love it and wear it delightfully.

To aphorize, as we eventually move on from the past, we come to understand that the way hang onto something is like the way we hang up on someone who is wrong for us.

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It has been a while since my last post, again… Time just slipped away, again and again… I wonder where I’ve gone aside from tripping around Sweden and blowing pretty bubbles in the air. The clock runs a little fast that make days go really past and it’s SPRING already- flowers to bloom, the sun zooms in and my gear is on the brooom brooom brooom!

My Wool Cashmere CoatIt was a beautiful sunny day. The clear blue sky just made my day. And since I was grinning like the sun today, I hit the mall and treated myself to this soft, lightweight Wool-Cashmere Coat (Italy Made). It made my face even much sunnier. After trying it on, inspecting its fabrics, verifying the buttons and buttonholes and examining the hems, I fell in love with the coat, eventually. You’ve got to pay a good chunk of change for this original coat. Questions weighed up: Do I really need this or I just want it?! Both. To redundantly express how ‘big time’ I wanted the coat- over and above, I ought to give myself a fresh SPRING look (chuckles!). Hence, no teeny doubt, I splashed out on it. (Woolicious & CASHmore coat, so to alter.)

Look Twice: “Buy the best you can and buy less. Good quality coats and clothes cost money, but you won’t regret it.” It may sound vain but it’s worth buying things that make you look amazing and that will keep you up with your poise. But wait a minute, as I claim myself a ‘wise spender’, I ask as I scribble this down- did my impulse beat me today? I just bought a leather jacket last month plus my not-so-old coats are just hanging in the closet, unused. If they could only talk, they would scream out loud “Please use and wear us!”

Let’s face it, most people think (as I used to think and still do sometimes) that splurging their hard- earned money into something cheap is a great idea to save up but it’s not. It’s actually a false economy. I’m not saying that you go making impulsive purchases just because you see everyone else decking out in the latest styles. That isn’t a green light for you to let loose of the “Living Beyond Your Means” cliché. But unless you have your own moneymaking machine, you go ahead and have fun at buying ALL the stuff you wish to have ;-). But just remember to implement your plans of spending wisely before ending up like a spendthrift- Manhattan shopaholic.

Chew on this for a moment: Personal Money Management. I totally understand that it is not easy to drop a penny into a piggy bank especially when you live in a material world nowadays. However, if you possess a sound financial planning and an incredible, practical judgement, it will help you put on the brakes before you jump into a spend-pen, and wisely gauge just how much fashion you can afford.  Blah! Blah! Blah! GUCCI, CK, LV, PRADA, CARTIER, etc., BURBERRY coat, ANYONE?

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