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Posts Tagged ‘blogging’

“You should blog often.” Taken as a demand or a compliment? Compliment. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be posting this. Besides, somebody told me to write a new entry to reverse the theme of my previous posts. You know, it’s sort of discomfiting that those posts were perceived as downbeat. I quote: “Read between the lines. Your posts suggest the theme so-called “I-hate-the-world.” Indeed, ‘In the Bleak Winter’ itself implies a Hades moment in my life. That doesn’t humor me at all.

To start with, I am pleased to say that I am coherently blissful! Last week, I wanted to pronounce my incomprehensible joy through scribbling, but thought the feeling would subside. I just didn’t know why I felt that way— maybe because I have suddenly learned how to unchain myself from the unknown fear.

When I was still moping around (due to the bad feedback on my project), the comment of Holly jumped out at me: “I hope you cheer up soon! Sometimes when things don’t work out the way we thought or planned, it’s actually a blessing. It just takes a while to figure it out. Hang in there!” True enough, I couldn’t agree more with her. Days before 2009 ended, I thought December would mark the denouement of the rat year, troubles rat-a-tat-tatted on me however. I went on sulking for a week. I partied, I smiled and laughed but the sting of failure traveled deep inside my nerves. Until one day, I got a call from a woman, whom I believed to be a secretary of the department.

Woman: “Did you receive the email we sent you yesterday?”
Me:         “No, I didn’t. What was it all about?”
Woman: “You suppose to meet the admin director today at 11 am.”
Me:         “It’s already 12 noon. What do you want me to do?”
Woman: “How about 2pm?”
Me:         “When? Today?”
Woman: “Yes.”
Me:         “Mmmm… Okay, 2pm. I’ll be there.”

Right after this call, I asked myself why I said yes to that meeting; I would just be blabbering the same explanation. But I went anyway. Then I met the giant guy in his office- there I vindicated my left and right side. To my surprise he bought my explanation. In other words, I was given the last chance to redo my project, but on one condition- aside from that project, I had to do another book-digging and commit-to-memory task. Towards the end of this tête-à-tête, I vented my gratitude for his consideration, but what I really would like to tell him was “Sorry, but I am not gonna do it. I quit. It’s finito!” I’d like to believe the project was not going anywhere and it would just be a waste of time, but in the back of my mind, I felt the need to redeem myself with these two formidable tasks that I considered ‘brick walls’. I have climbed them once but I slipped and fell. In that sense though, I think they were beyond a reasonable doubt worth a second try. In like manner, I have climbed tougher and more daunting brick walls than these, so why should I chicken out this time?

Correspondingly, I did what I ought to do— WMAO (Work My Ass Off). With the given deadline, I had to stretch tasks to fit the time I had. I would go to bed at 4am-ish as soon as I finished deciphering information and arguments with my grotesque thinking and my eyes crossing. Those sleepless nights never failed to smear my eyes with dark eye shadows. I got pressured to the edge and turned my Christmas vacation into ho-LID-day. Think of a scenario when you have to bottle yourself in with a restraint or a lid to stay focused. After a determined effort, I got the project done before the cutoff date. The agony of waiting for the result made me antsy for days. Eventually, when I got it yesterday, I said “Cloud Nine”. The toil has paid off handsomely, I made it over the wall. Redemption accomplished. I can now move on to another brick wall.

Indeed, brick walls suggestively, are there for a reason- to hold us back, to shut us off or to stop us. When faced with challenging brick walls, we come to the point in our life where we have to decide whether to painstakingly climb/crush those walls or just withdraw. Either way, it shows how desperately we want something, thus, executing the Law of Intention.

Wrapping up, this experience has certainly proved to be a positive one despite  the negative undergoing, for it has helped my inner strength grow at least an inch.

So to You, you, you, and you,  you know who you are, THANK YOU!

Now, I need a real getaway vacation.

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Blog test, blog test

Since I am still relatively new to this blog, and many of you have likely been here for a while, I want to get to know the ‘hows’ of this site.

I’m letting my ‘gray matter’ relax just for a while for the sake of blogosphere. This is just a day when I can turn my brain down to a low simmer, and let myself focus more on simple things. My intellectualizing is done (only for today), so it’s time to kick back. My brain deserves a bit of a vacation, so I’m doing the mindless things I like to do with extra gusto today- I’ve watched a film, gone out for a meandering walk, flipped through some magazines and right at this moment- staring at the clear blue sky through the window glass while keying this very first entry. There’s no harm in being a simpleton just for a day, is there?

I’m starting a series of posts about life- lessons- legacy, and of course my travelogues or ‘anything under the sun’ topics depending on how blogsessive I am about particular subjects.

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