Eager to Become an Eagle

Somebody asked me today, “If you were an animal, what would you be?” I snapped the question with the answer: “At this point of my life, I am so eager to be an eagle.” If you know the story about The Life of an Eagle, you’ll get the idea as to why I chose this creature.

Contemplating the recounted claims about the eagle’s life, I would say that the constructed facts about an eagle have been presented in a sensational manner considering the ornithological depictions of it. Perhaps, the story might have been conceived with a premeditated idea or reference to the mythical phoenix. Nevertheless, the story can teach us lessons of survival and change.

HERE’S THE STORY:

The Eagle has the longest life-span of its species. It can live up to 70 years. But to reach this age, the eagle must make a hard decision.

In its 40th year its long and flexible talons can no longer grab prey which serves as food. Its long and sharp beak becomes bent. It’s old-aged and heavy wings, due to their thick feathers, stick to its chest and make it difficult to fly.

Then, the eagle is left with only two options: DIE or go through a painful process of CHANGE which lasts 150 days. The process requires that the eagle fly to a mountain top and sit on its nest. There the eagle knocks its beak against a rock until it plucks it out.

Then the eagle will wait for a new beak to grow back and then it will pluck out its talons. When its new talons grow back, the eagle starts plucking its old-aged feathers.

And after 5 months, the eagle takes its famous flight of rebirth and lives for 30 more years.

Why is change needed? Many times, in order to survive we have to start a change process. We sometimes need to get rid of old memories, habits and other past traditions. Only freed from past burdens, can we take advantage of the present.

On the Wings of Change

And why the eagerness to emerge as an eagle? As for me, well, I ought to embrace change. We all do at some point in time. Even the most erudite CEOs and leaders in the business world need to create change by taking risks. When you complain a lot about how your life or your business has been in a deep rut, yet you never open your eyes to the reality that it’s going to take a painful and radical process to change, then don’t expect for any change at all.

Your circumstance will become more dire than ever if you just allow yourself to feed on negativity and narrow-mindedness.

When your willpower draws near to its lowest ebb, that’s the moment when you must let your momentum go full speed ahead.

You want to SURVIVE? STRIVE to THRIVE ON TOUGH STRIDE.

 

 

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Something Spooky

Is there anyone out there who can explain the thing of sensing pain or death, a parapsychologist or a psychic? I know it sounds creepy, but it happens to me. Since I was young, I have been experiencing this wherever I go. I wouldn’t call it a “gift” because I’m not convinced that I have some kind of paranormal ability. I am just an ordinary person who’s in existence with normal human beings.

I have encountered seeing people or be in contact with them before their death. Am I one of the forces of Hades? I  hope not… I have told this to my mother, but she said nothing about it except telling me that I should pray for these people’s souls.

I recall when I was 8 or 9, I saw one of my grandfather’s tenants before her death. I was on the bus on my way home and  I saw the lady tenant. It was in the city I least expected seeing her. I was wondering what she was doing there. After a day, I had learned that she died in childbirth but the baby survived. The incident didn’t really matter to me (I was young to dig into it) but it’s one of the childhood memories that linger in my mind.

The death of my high school classmate was another incident that I still remember of sensing other’s death. Before she was taken, she was gagging with me, pinching my arms while bursting into laughter. She was so caught up in squeezing my untoned arms that she didn’t notice that I was sensing something hair-raising. I didn’t see any sign that she’d die, I felt it though. The next day, the news of her death broke out. We were hit like a ton of bricks. It was just some few days before our graduation day.

In like manner, I also made a contact with one of my university professors before he kicked the bucket. He was an extremely nice guy. He used to be my aunt’s neighbor, and even though my aunt and her family moved out of the neighborhood, they remained friends and still visited each other once in a while. The professor’s nieces were my cousin’s best playmates. I knew because I stayed with my aunt for a few years. The professor would pick his nieces at our place after work. Until one night at exactly midnight, the phone rang. It was him on the other line. I couldn’t remember all the words he said but he was saying that I should take care of his nieces.  Then, he hung up on me. I was petrified by the eerie call… How could he ring at this hour when he can do it tomorrow? Sometimes, tomorrow never comes, indeed. The very next day, the news spread like wildfire round in the campus- his death. Shocked as I was, I tried to flashback what he said over the phone. I couldn’t believe he’s dead. He simply died in his sleep.

How about my grandfather’s death? Did I sense it? No doubt, yes. I went to church yesterday. While waiting for the mass to begin, I was going over the Psalm book; I was alone on that pew. And then suddenly I felt something or someone just sat next to me. I tried to ignore it, but I felt that there was a man sitting beside me. In my mind was an image “It’s a man- an old man. Who are you? Who is it?” Before long, I felt someone (a ghost?) touched me and rushed past me. And it was ice-cold. I disregarded this encounter on purpose, tearfully thinking that death would occur. However, I know me, I become restless and have vivid nightmares whenever somebody dies or something dreadful happens. My gut instincts were telling me it was my grandfather. It couldn’t be, I wanted to see my grandfather one more time  before he would rest in peace. When I called my brother, he let it slip “Have you heard about grandpa yet? He’s dead.” So I immediately rang my mother and told me what happened. (Right now, I am morning my grandfather’s death…)

These are just SOME of the before-death- circumstances or premonitions that I have chanced upon. There’s a lot more… Gratefully, I am not able to sense death with everyone, or else I would have gone mad by now.

I don’t know how the human brain works scientifically when it comes to sensing death, for all that, I am just hoping that I’d be able to understand this stuff better, rather than wandering around wondering what this phenomenon is all about???  Is it because I have had a near death experience before, and had seen Death while struggling to fight for my life when I was awfully ill?

Weird, creepy, spooky. I hope all these mean nothing at all.

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Skimpy Clothing, Shorts, Bare Shoulders, Banned in Vatican

It was 12 noon on the dot at the Vatican City when we got there after two hours of trekking roads and rides under the scorching 39°C temperature. I took a seat for a while to cool down and collect myself. After which we pressed on to stand in the long lines of visitors to witness the interior of the St. Peter’s Basilica. Getting in was like getting through the airport check-in process- very strict security. Read on…

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L’s Birthday

Sometimes it’s not ‘how’ we meet a person that could measure a deep sense of friendship, it’s how we nurture the friendship that matters. Time serves a great factor in doing such and it’s a mutual thing that we can give each other. You know, like simple hi’s and hello’s or simple comments on photos and updates.

Today, I am feeling a bit under the weather despite the beautiful sunny day, but this is a lame excuse for me not to greet a dear friend on her special day. I have undertaken on this page to extend my greetings and to share with you a bit about her.

It all started when I was on my quest to finding old friends and classmates. When I saw her name, I thought it was her – she got the same name as my high school classmate. I asked for an apology for the bother, but from that moment she has become a part of my existence. Whenever she would spill something about her personal life through e-chats, I have developed a friendship with her. I thought it was nice of her to share her moments with a complete stranger like me.

She is an unassuming woman, but when you hear her hit the microphone, you will surely interject “Girl, you rock!” I can’t remember her posting a video where she is singing or gigging, her band-mate (I guess) did though. She said it was supposed to be her secret. Sorry dear, one of your secrets have been revealed and I am glad to have seen it. You’ve got the talent and talents should be shared, right?

She never fails to care. Last year when I decided to cut my wire from going online to wrestle with reality’s demands, she was one of those souls that tried to penetrate through my invisible door. By simply asking if I was okay, she had closed the deal- she signified that if you can’t feel or see the existence of somebody that you care about, nudging her/him is just the simplest shot to show your concern. “Hey, where on earth are you? Are you still alive? You matter to me.” – These words might be reiterated unpremeditatedly, but they would reverberate throughout somebody’s life.

She is a great mother. Seeing how adorable and happy those two kids are would make you wanna ask “Kids, who is your mommy?”.

Dear L, I may not have greeted you on your birthday, but you should know that your special day has never been forgotten. Posting a one-liner greeting on your Facebook Wall would be the easiest and fastest track to greet you. You might find this post extremely corny, but it’s just my way of showing how special you are. My birthday gift for you is a whole lotta thought of love. I hope you had celebrated your natal day, wonderfully.

To you my Lovely- Electrifying- Amiable friend, 誕生日おめでと! Merry Birthday!

(I hope that’s the precise translation of it ;-).)

However you define happiness, may you and your family always find bliss in every simple thing you do together.

 

Best Wishes, my dear LEA!

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Adiue, Note Book… Just Leave me your Hook

(January 2011)

I love taking down my thoughts, negative or positive. Last night while I was clearing up a stack of journal notebooks, I stumbled upon this 6-year-old notebook named “Note Book”. How many times have I attempted to burn it to welcome another year, another chapter of my existence? Myriad times… Today though, I held a mini bonfire to mark the end of this jotter. But before I did it, I have plucked twenty simple-introspective liners from it that still serve as my constant reminders.

1. Enjoy whatever you do.

2. Sound in mind, sound in body. Stay healthy.

3. Practice random kindness. Extend help, without any hope of being reimbursed.

4. Learn to be excited even though there’s nothing exciting in your environment.

5. Do not let your past control your future.

6. If you have anything against anyone, forgive him/ her. Let it drop. Leave it. Let it go.

7. It is best to wait for the one you want than settle for the one that’s available.

8. Dwell not on what you don’t have.

9. Find something that’s right and concentrate.

10. Your will is stronger than your mind and feelings.

11. Maintain the teachable spirit. Keep a humble attitude. No air up there.

12. Fret or obsess not about something in the future.

13. Don’t let your attitude lose altitude. Act with an attitude of gratitude.

14. Spend time with your sunniest pals. Don’t surround yourself with a glass-half-empty crew. But be one if you want change and progress.

15. Choose to have a fantastic day!

16. Take time to examine yourself.

17. Learn to give up something to get what you want.

18. Do whatever is right even though nobody is watching you.

19. Be afraid not to talk about your weaknesses to others. Nobody’s perfect.

20. Enjoy while you are changing into a better person.

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A Fountain of Youth

From the heart of the fountain of delight rises a jet of childishness...

I thought I have escaped the heat of Madrid… But coming to this fascinating country in Central Europe, the sun even welcomed me with its beaming heat that penetrated into my deep dermis giving me “sun-kissed” skin.

Curious enough, the tiring and troublesome flight-lag didn’t stop us from going and strolling around on the very first day to learn the mazes of this exquisite city. After 4 hours of getting lost under the sun, we spotted a square fountain. I eventually found myself playing with its water that jetted into the air for dramatic effect. It made me feel like a 3- year-old kid again and I ended up getting soaked. (Photo: Summer 2010 Memorabilia)

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‘Gimme a Break’ says the kitkat!

Kitties are notorious for being able to find their sanctuaries when they need to be alone or to catnap. Just like my cat, I find him everywhere in the flat (on top of cabinets, under the bed, closets, boxes, he thinks he owns the whole place. Sometimes I find that annoying but what can I do? He’s a cat, he dominates, he does whatever pleases him, and he snores or makes strange sounds whenever he’s asleep. He attempted to get into my wardrobe many times, but it’s a big ‘no no’. Sometimes I wonder if he’s a gay-cat and just wanna hang out in there and try my dresses on…

Hidden between the clothes, who is that?

I need my space. Please leave me alone for a while.

I said 'Leave me alone!' Meowgrooowwwl!!!

Sweet cat! Okay, Okay. I will leave you alone.

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Grateful

When all of your hard work is appreciated and you get a round of applause,
all you have to do is to say “THANK YOU” as you go red in the face.
This slice of my life is called ‘FULFILL(mo)MENT.’
– May 20, 2010 (Result!)

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Pursuit of Knowledge and Wisdom

“I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing.” ~Socrates

All my life I have been a student at the University of Life. I got exceptional grades in Math subjects but appallingly, until now I really don’t know how figures of percentage work! Despite my sheepishness, I obtained the “Best Debater” title, but this did not make me a politician like Obama. Getting A’s in philosophy did not bring out the Socrates in me either. So why then I endured and still enduring the demands of schools, professors and myself? Because I knew nothing, and that I still believe that education brainwashes me in a positive way. This credence in some measure offers us a substantial knowledge and wisdom in life, you agree or not. Education, either acquired mainly from books or experiences, has opened my eyes to the fact that I know nothing; hence I defied ignorance and orders from those who uttered “You can’t do that!”

Whatever learning I hold now did not come from my B.A. in English or any other language degrees. My emergence came from the tribulations and challenges that I have willingly and reluctantly faced in life. You can quote me on this: “Wisdom emerges from stupidity”. My stupid mistakes and laughable opinions stirred my desire for knowledge and steered me to collect wisdom. Though I don’t consider myself wise, I value the wisdom I have learned from people whom I have high regard for and with the character traits that I admire.

I know that I know nothing that’s why I spend hours at the library to dig knowledge; I take time to work  in a sublime fashion and passion to learn skills I do not have, and I find ways to travel to expand my horizons. I know that I know nothing therefore I endeavor to learn whatever it is I ought to absorb. My desire for wisdom is beyond my own comprehension. Reading books will not satisfy that desire, but at best, perhaps it can lead me to fulfilling at least one goal… to seek not to know the answers, but to understand my theories and conjectures.

Page by page, will this change you into a sage?

Let me learn, let me learn.

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Facebooking

Facebook has its strong points, no doubt. For many, it can be a harmless way to pass a little time — if you ever wondered what your best friend from the sixth grade, who moved to Kansas, is now doing at 35, it’s a fun and easy way to reconnect. For others, it can even be a career-boosting, social-networking strategy — suppose you made a great work connection at a recent party, but forgot to get his email …

Facebook cuts through all the usual boundaries of time and space and takes you directly to the virtual doorstep of the person you’re looking for. It’s a cultural phenomenon, with more than 400 million users, that some would say has improved our quality of life and brought us all closer together. Others, however, might strongly disagree.

Two Real-Life Examples
Valerie (not her real name) is an unemployed music writer in her 30s. Her live-in boyfriend Max is at an ad agency job full-time. Valerie is alone at home for hours, scouring the Internet for job listings. Says Valerie, “On ‘the Face,’ I don’t have to go searching for company. I can talk to my family or my friends back home. They’re at my fingertips.”

For Valerie, it’s also a place to make connections with record labels, musicians, and as she puts it, “people of my tribe.”

Her boyfriend, Max (not his real name), has a slightly different take on the situation: “Every time I turn around, she’s on that thing. It’s like she’s on a constant Facebook IV drip. She will sit staring at the screen watching the updates on the damned feed, or check to see who ‘liked’ her postings. I am beginning to think she doesn’t like me.”

Darcy (also not her real name) broke up with a guy six months ago, and discovered, via Facebook, that he is in a new relationship. “Last week, he changed his relationship status. I’ve seen the pictures of him with this new girl, and it kills me. I wish he’d block me to save me from myself,” she related.

Expert Opinions
Says Paula Pile, a marriage and family therapist in Greensboro, North Carolina, in a CNN interview: “Last Friday, I had three clients in my office with Facebook problems. It’s turned into a compulsion — a compulsion to dissociate from your real world and go live in the Facebook world.”

According to Joanna Lipari, a clinical psychologist at the University of California (from the same CNN interview): “Facebook is a fun, pleasant, happy, beautiful world. People only present the crème de la crème of their lives … And these people want to be your friends! It’s very seductive.”

For people like Darcy, who have a tendency to fixate or obsess about past loves, Facebook provides the negative excitement she craves.

Some Pointed Questions
Asking yourself the following questions may be helpful in figuring out if you’ve degenerated into a full-blown Facebook junkie:

1. Are you spending less time with family and friends so you can be online?
2. Do you procrastinate or put off work to just get a little more Facebook time?
3. Does the thought of being off of Facebook for more than a day make you extremely anxious?
4. Do you think about Facebook when you lay in bed at night?
5. When you’re tagged, do you feel on top of the world?

If you’ve answered “yes” to one or more of these questions, it’s time for a little DIY rehab.

How to Fix the Problem
Just as they do in AA, the first step is admitting you have a problem. The second is asking the universe for some help, and the next is inventorying your activity. Record how much time you’re spending and what you are actually doing when you are on the website. Next, form some boundaries. Limit your time and have some goals, for example: “I will do half an hour a day, max” or “Today, I will comment on only two friend’s posts.”

Most importantly, start fortifying your three-dimensional existence. Attempt to make it as interesting and fulfilling (or more) than your virtual life. Take a walk in the sun, volunteer, see a therapist, read a book, plant a garden, start that novel you’ve always wanted to write, change the color of your hair, and talk with and touch the ones you love. Life goes by too quickly, and with a little work and courage, reality really doesn’t have to bite.

Credit: Tracy Lyndon

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The Brick Walls

“You should blog often.” Taken as a demand or a compliment? Compliment. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be posting this. Besides, somebody told me to write a new entry to reverse the theme of my previous posts. You know, it’s sort of discomfiting that those posts were perceived as downbeat. I quote: “Read between the lines. Your posts suggest the theme so-called “I-hate-the-world.” Indeed, ‘In the Bleak Winter’ itself implies a Hades moment in my life. That doesn’t humor me at all.

To start with, I am pleased to say that I am coherently blissful! Last week, I wanted to pronounce my incomprehensible joy through scribbling, but thought the feeling would subside. I just didn’t know why I felt that way— maybe because I have suddenly learned how to unchain myself from the unknown fear.

When I was still moping around (due to the bad feedback on my project), the comment of Holly jumped out at me: “I hope you cheer up soon! Sometimes when things don’t work out the way we thought or planned, it’s actually a blessing. It just takes a while to figure it out. Hang in there!” True enough, I couldn’t agree more with her. Days before 2009 ended, I thought December would mark the denouement of the rat year, troubles rat-a-tat-tatted on me however. I went on sulking for a week. I partied, I smiled and laughed but the sting of failure traveled deep inside my nerves. Until one day, I got a call from a woman, whom I believed to be a secretary of the department.

Woman: “Did you receive the email we sent you yesterday?”
Me:         “No, I didn’t. What was it all about?”
Woman: “You suppose to meet the admin director today at 11 am.”
Me:         “It’s already 12 noon. What do you want me to do?”
Woman: “How about 2pm?”
Me:         “When? Today?”
Woman: “Yes.”
Me:         “Mmmm… Okay, 2pm. I’ll be there.”

Right after this call, I asked myself why I said yes to that meeting; I would just be blabbering the same explanation. But I went anyway. Then I met the giant guy in his office- there I vindicated my left and right side. To my surprise he bought my explanation. In other words, I was given the last chance to redo my project, but on one condition- aside from that project, I had to do another book-digging and commit-to-memory task. Towards the end of this tête-à-tête, I vented my gratitude for his consideration, but what I really would like to tell him was “Sorry, but I am not gonna do it. I quit. It’s finito!” I’d like to believe the project was not going anywhere and it would just be a waste of time, but in the back of my mind, I felt the need to redeem myself with these two formidable tasks that I considered ‘brick walls’. I have climbed them once but I slipped and fell. In that sense though, I think they were beyond a reasonable doubt worth a second try. In like manner, I have climbed tougher and more daunting brick walls than these, so why should I chicken out this time?

Correspondingly, I did what I ought to do— WMAO (Work My Ass Off). With the given deadline, I had to stretch tasks to fit the time I had. I would go to bed at 4am-ish as soon as I finished deciphering information and arguments with my grotesque thinking and my eyes crossing. Those sleepless nights never failed to smear my eyes with dark eye shadows. I got pressured to the edge and turned my Christmas vacation into ho-LID-day. Think of a scenario when you have to bottle yourself in with a restraint or a lid to stay focused. After a determined effort, I got the project done before the cutoff date. The agony of waiting for the result made me antsy for days. Eventually, when I got it yesterday, I said “Cloud Nine”. The toil has paid off handsomely, I made it over the wall. Redemption accomplished. I can now move on to another brick wall.

Indeed, brick walls suggestively, are there for a reason- to hold us back, to shut us off or to stop us. When faced with challenging brick walls, we come to the point in our life where we have to decide whether to painstakingly climb/crush those walls or just withdraw. Either way, it shows how desperately we want something, thus, executing the Law of Intention.

Wrapping up, this experience has certainly proved to be a positive one despite  the negative undergoing, for it has helped my inner strength grow at least an inch.

So to You, you, you, and you,  you know who you are, THANK YOU!

Now, I need a real getaway vacation.

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In the Bleak Winter

A lot of people like snow. Many frown on it; others call it the white culprit of the road troubles.

But as for me, snow gives me the feeling (just a feeling) of accepting the realities in life that are tough to handle, and deal with the facts “on the ground.” The mantle of snow suggests a life-tracker like me to look up and look more closely at the edges of every cloud and find the silver lining.

HAPPY WINTER!

When it snows, you have two choices: shovel or make snow your trampoline 🙂

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Fill and Spill

1. Today, I danced under the snowfall. It was amazing.

2. Today, I realized I don’t have what it takes to make it through to become that something I wanted to be. Ironically, I had hit the bottom when I reached the top.

3. Today, I grieved over the death of a research project. The result was  absolutely, disturbingly terrible. It was the first and the worst feedback I have ever seen in my life. And that very single word was like a weapon turned against me like a dagger.

4. Today, I found  Zumi Armani, my cat, licking my tears away. I was not sure if he knew I was down, but it made me giggle. Sanity saved!

5. Today, I wanted to hug my mother even for just a mile a minute but we’re Roman miles away from each other.

6. Today, my mind went numb, too much going on, but I was moving like a machine dragging my burdens to nowhere.

7. Today, my mind, my thoughts seemed really lame and narrow. Busted.

8. Today, I sat down on my own little world— contemplating, feeling dramatic and laughing at myself.

9. Today, I pondered over Helen Keller’s words- “The world is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming it.” Thank you Helen. That has been a big help.

10.Today, I am going to enjoy my lobster dinner. TYG.

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White Flakes

White flakes of snow falling,
A change of mood I’m feeling.
Joy from within is showing,
Snow gods I see ’em smiling.

As out the window,
Girls, putting on a show,
Boys, going with the flow.
Take it slow snow, take it slow.

Upon this afternoon
I wish to get out of my cocoon,
To dance under this heaven’s boon
Oh snow, don’t peter out so soon.

December 15, 2009
I wrote this poem while waiting for the next class.

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Post-Natal Day Reflections

Before you read further, let me start by offering my deepest gratitude for all your gracious birthday greetings. To my dear family, friends, Regal Hill, THANK YOU ALL: without all your support, things would have been very different. Most of all, To The One Up There, Thank You for this Life.

The day after my birthday gave me a lot of time to think about what is truly important to me at this time of my life. I’ve really lived such an incredible life. I have done lots of mistakes and learned from them.

I am _ _ years old. I am the age of my heart. The thought of being in this age didn’t bring with it uninhibited joy, but a feeling of trepidation. Basically, I haven’t treated this natal day the way I treated any other birthday.

Even supposing that I had already accomplished a lot- university, career (even laid low career), school after school, etc.- I still can’t help but ask myself “What road would I take next?” Wherever I am at this point, I can honestly say I am happy. There are times however, those worry wart-evil thoughts keep shaking me and poking my guts. “Are you lost? Are you doing what you wanted to do? Are you truly where you wanted to be?”  Suddenly, I feel the urge to take a deep breath. Sigh. Deep, cleansing breaths. On occasion, tiny fluids secreted by the lacrimal glands of my eyes instinctively drop, how salty they are. And yet, when whimpering’s done I feel better again and when my tear ducts shut, I feel my own renewal of hope, and my own sense of purpose. Everyone feels the same way once in a while. Human nature.

The past few years I have been piloted in an unexpected personal wave of uncertainty and anxiety. I have embraced my sadness and darkness in order to see the light and experience true bliss. Despite setbacks, I have kept and still keep on going. With that said, I have built my inner strength  through learning the hard way.  I have journeyed down many different roads; have pushed huge stones aside for me to let through. I have mapped a different route in life. The fact is, sometimes the things we’re most passionate about- the things we would most like to accomplish in life- are the very blueprints we tend to put off. Time flies, and that half-decorated wall is still waiting in vain, or that half-started postgraduate degree is balanced out, or the course that we so want to take is neglected,  merely because we can’t seem to find a way to start or pursue it. Making those big dreams come true is not as easy as eating cakes on your birthday.

Nonetheless, I have had my heart set on living my dreams (perhaps aimless dreams). On living those dreams, I have stared various proverbial forks in the road. Life has been constantly teaching me. It has taught me how to focus on the choices I have to make every time I find myself standing pensively at one of those forks in the road. I may not have all the answers to my stupid questions; I may not reach all my goals, but the important thing is to keep striving toward one. No matter how overwhelmed I feel, how impossible the odds seem I always take time to step back and envision the life I want to have. I have been the seedling in a cultural desert, wanting ever so much to be grown, to be something more than what I am.

How old am I again? Bugger! Age is not a particularly interesting subject especially for a person like me. Anyone can get old. But we should turn not older with years, but newer everyday.

So you are not where you thought you would be at 25, 30, 35, 40, 50 or 70? Everyone’s life plan swerves off course at some point. It’s the journey that matters the most. It is the journey that makes the person. It is the journey that transforms a person from being average to enjoy stratospheric success. It is the journey that changes lives.

Now that I’ve turned _ _, I’m no longer afraid of what’s in store, albeit feeling a bit angst-ridden. I’m stepping into the next greatest evolution of myself. This time I should know what I really want. Unlike a birthday present, life is not always neatly packaged and tied with a bow. I know how to grow old but still stay young ;-). I haven’t really mastered any single wisdom yet, but I believe wisdom has its own way of sinking itself deep into my core.

In all instances,  I would wish to open my heart and mind a little wider. To walk to the edge. To scan well the horizons. To live well- to laugh often- to love much. To choose with no regret. To do what I love. Above all, I wish to be a stronger and better person today than I was yesterday.

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LIBRA I am

Forwarded by a Co-LIBRAN

LIBRA: The sign of beauty and justice

Ruled by Venus, the planet of love, Libra and partnership go hand-in-hand. Libra is a sociable Air sign, so sharing and relating with others is a priority.

The key phrase for a Libra is “I balance.” The scales of justice provide the symbol for this fair-minded sign, so Libra strives for a balanced perspective that incorporates equality and cooperation. They’re the peacemakers of the zodiac who endeavor to find harmony in everything they do.

But let’s not forget about beauty, the other domain of Venus. Whether it’s through art or eloquent words, part of Libra’s destiny is to make the world a more beautiful place. And it goes without saying that Libra appreciates the finer things in life.

Here’s a closer look into the heart and mind of this artsy, ardent Air sign.

Libra personality
Libra is the epitome of graciousness. A Libra can charm even the most boorish of adversaries. Conversely, they can be powerful opponents to those who violate their keen sense of justice.

One of the most sociable signs of the zodiac, Libra thrives on one-on-one exchanges with a wide circle of friends and colleagues. They desire to be liked, and have an accommodating nature – often to a fault. As an Air sign, they are intellectually oriented, and they love to learn. Because they weigh and balance every idea that comes their way, they can have trouble making decisions – and they may even talk themselves out of a decision, once it’s reached. On the positive side, they endeavor to understand all points of view.

Libra has an artistic eye and a unique sense of style that others strive to emulate (think of Libra bombshell Bridget Bardot, who popularized the bikini). They love fine things, including clothing, and even their weekend slouchery has a touch of chic. Mainly, Libra is about sharing, so they are usually generous with their feelings, ideas and possessions.

Libra in love
Libra loves to be in love. They are most content when in a relationship. If you’re involved with a Libra, they’ll be the most thoughtful of lovers. They’re always thinking of you. On the downside, they can be so accommodating that their needs aren’t met, which can lead to resentment. And they’ll try to hide their annoyance because negative feelings, especially anger, make them acutely uncomfortable. They are the peacemakers, after all, so they’ll often give in just to keep the peace. Knowing when your Libra is irritated requires a keen eye and some intuition. Oh, they’ll let you know in subtle ways – can we say passive aggressive? On the positive side, they have a talent for analysis and fair-play that can help resolve differences quickly and reasonably.

Most important, your Libra will let you know you’re loved through words and deeds – in and out of the bedroom. Yes, they are passionate, but they are seldom over-the-top lusty (unless there’s a Scorpio planet in their chart). It’s that balance thing again – lust and balance don’t intermingle very well. Plus, being an Air sign means they’re most comfortable in their head. But if your Libra can get out of their intellect and into their body, you’ll have a sizzling sexual connection that’s based on love.

Libra at work
With their love of beauty, Libras can excel in artistic professions as interior decorators, architects, graphic artists or website designers, fine artists, musicians, entertainers, actors or set designers. Because of their talent for relating, they also make excellent therapists, marriage counselors, mediators, public relations specialists, wedding planners and media consultants. Their sense of justice can prompt them to enter the field of law or community advocacy. With such a strong intellect, Libra endeavors to learn new things throughout life.

Hmmm… Do I have to agree with all of these? I nod.

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Suck in Air

Recap of the Last Week

Monday:

At work. Had a simple talk with the boss. Appreciated it.

Tuesday:

When I checked my emails early today, I got a comment message from RV. (Hey big bro, how’s Saudi? I so missed your company.) I didn’t have any clue what the message might be about. So I logged in to that site and saw his birthday greetings. He said he wanted to be the very first one to greet me a “HAPPY BIRTHDAY”. I was touched, but I hahaha-ed. Is it my birthday yet? Thanks for reminding, bro. But right now, I have to come to grips with my research papers. Piles of books on the table. Finished work to be submitted on my natal day.

At noon, I went to the spa. Before I left home I did some swift plucking on my eyebrows. If the facialist would notice those unwanted hair on my face, she might probably tell me to have them honeycombed.  That won’t be necessary though, and I will not allow her  to talk me into doing it. No thanks. Thus, I tried to pluck out every misplaced hair growing below my eyebrows. Looking at my eye crowns with  naked eyes, I thought my face looked polished. But when I rolled the curtains to make the flat brighter, scratch that! Cute little mustaches have grown on my upper lip. Straightaway, I grabbed a shaver and mowed my face. Afterwards, I headed down to the spa clinic.

I felt so invigorated after getting my facial. The facialist was great.

Wednesday:

At work. Toiled big time

After the 8-4 grind, dragged my trolley to the train station to meet up with study- group mates in the city.  Thoroughly, we discussed about the individual research paper. Until now, the task we ought to do is still blurry.

Thursday:

Library. Borrowed books that are needed for the papers.

Meet up with group mates, again.

Wanted to start my article but I needed a “nerve tonic” to do so.

Friday:

Knuckled myself down to work, assiduously.

BIRTHDAY. That’s in few days. Plotted to throw a big blasty party but resolved to make it a solemn one. Planned to go for a trip to Iceland or Greenland but can’t do a faraway flight. Planned other activities in lieu of party but little did I know that we’ll have a horrid exam on my red- letter day, which means I have to do loads of swotting. Can’t I just get exempted? Bang, NO. I am not considering a party after the exam either, but I will definitely kick back, relax and CARPE DIEM.

BIRTHDAY WISHES: My folks asked me, “What do you want  on your birthday?” As I always say, “Don’t make a fuss about gifts.” Each time I’m asked “any birthday wishes? Do you want this and that?”. I come back with my platitude “Nothing.” An iPhone? (got one already ;-)). Besides, I have already gotten a grand birthday gift last summer- one of the greatest gifts that a celebrant could ever receive. Thanks to Regal Hill.

Wish list: I just want something substantial this year. Practically, gifts are fine, but I’d rather wish the things I haven’t done or accomplish yet in my life. Receiving messages from friends and families would immensely make my day. A card in the mail is always nice, but I never expect anything. For me, giving gifts has become overrated to some extent. However, I love giving gifts to my close friends and family on their birthdays.

********

I’ve got to plug away at my paper work.

Wish me a super fabulous, full of laughter birthday!

Signing off.

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CARPE DIEM

The Fabulous Stroll

I am here- a reason enough to be happy. And I am happy in the shoes I am wearing. I love where I am. I love the people around me. I embrace my body. I love myself. It is who I am, and it and I am fabulous exactly as I am. I love something- anything, anyone. Reality is good, tumultuous, exciting , thrilling and exasperating. In all its intensity, life is what you make it.

In the real world, all we’re really guaranteed to have is right here, right now. So why not learn to love our life in this instant, instead of thinking about the future all the time.

*Carpe Diem*

To pee, or not to pee: that's not the question

Go somewhere with natural beauty- even a quiet garden will do. Give yourself a moment to be in touch with nature, like you were as a child. Take your problems for a walk, a long one. Things seem better after a good walk. Take a pause. Pose for the camera. Add fun to your strolls. See my picture? What you think of me is none of my business. Just laugh at it :-), hahaha!

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“ME” First?

On a scale of 1 – 10, what do you think the average person would rate their general happiness? And what would you rate yourself?

Asking those questions doesn’t denote that I wanna talk about happiness. But rather I wanna point out the very pretext of unhappiness- Selfishness… the greatest curse of the human raise according to William Gladstone.

Selfishness is devotion to or concern with one’s own advantage or welfare to the exclusion of regard for others. Science and religion both teach selfishness: That the first rule of life is self preservation, which results in “me first” and the creed of materialism. Selfishness results from the original sin of separateness (separation). Selfishness are a primary or sole concern with one’s own welfare. It is the stinginess resulting from a concern for your own welfare and a disregard of others.

1) The human being who lives only for himself finally reaps nothing but unhappiness. Selfishness corrodes. Unselfishness ennobles, satisfies. Don’t put off the joy derivable from doing helpful, kindly things for others.
B. C. Forbes

2) “Manifest plainness,
Embrace simplicity,
Reduce selfishness,
Have few desires.”
Lao-tzu

Th0se two quotes can be used to describe the selfish nature of some humans or to compare to the nature of some particular animals which are known to be selfish. These quotes can also be quoted to motivate people to not always work for their selfish interests but sometimes work for the humanity as a whole as well.

JM: We just have so many different opportunities to reach out. And we think about how we’re not happy, and we don’t have these, we need that, and what we can do to be happy. You hear me say this all the time but I gotta say this again:

“YOU CAN’T BE SELFISH AND HAPPY.”

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Outfoxing Pressure

Pressure makes Diamonds, I say.

We all like to feel we can change the course of our lives. As humans, we have an innate need to feel that we had the power to do things differently. We assume responsibility for all manner of events. But what if amidst the haste, we wilt under pressure?

Due to the current tasks I have put on myself, I am being suffocated by pressure.  At first I didn’t want to admit that I easily get stressed out, but I eventually have learned to face this fact, which is too uncomfortable to accept. Despite what may be overwhelming evidence, it’s still not easy for me to acknowledge the word ‘pressure’ because I don’t want the world to perceive or see me as a person who cannot juggle several balls in the air nor cope with reality. Everywhere I go, pressure follows me, but I know it’s my own choice whether to let pressure squeeze me out or I rule over it. Who doesn’t wanna do the latter anyway?

As of now, I am seeking some kind of emotional solace. With that as an aim, I have to constantly remind myself that I have to respond to this pressure in a way that I could find strength and freedom. There’s no denying that we live in a stressful world, however, if I always have to respond with apprehension, cringing in fear, then I’ll get totally eaten up and will not be able to pull things off. Now, to reframe these pressures that are surrounding me, I have to get a grip of my belief that thingamajigs are continually getting better. I simply wanna create something beautiful in life. And since I expect things to improve, thinking positive is a very powerful catalyst for turning things around (It’s easier said than done huh). Sometimes seeing myself in the third person, I look so funny once I get panicky. Yet, I am very thankful for the people who know me quite well and who are just there to remind me to calm down. She said, he said “Take it easy”; he said, she said “Can you just be more positive…” These sound excruciating to me but I’ve got to crunch them.

Okay, let me think of a single positive side of pressure or stress… Well, I lost weight and have come down to 48 kgs. One-dimensional, but this is what allowed me to honestly say, “I FEEL GREAT :-)! wearing a pair of Levi’s slim fit jeans with a flaunt of 25-inch waistline.”

To wrap up, nobody is immune from pressure and stress and it’s true that usually they just come and they go. The thing is, there’s really no need to walk around feeling a bit strung out and overstretched, especially when you have a busy day planned.

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